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We watch ourselves first. |
How are we fixing this again?
Okay, the fixing part sounds hard. But it’s really not. Nobody’s asking you to go door to door and hand out stuff. All of us have to do the same thing.
Start with me: Am I pressuring someone to have sex on my terms? Maybe that person would like to be with me, maybe even be sexual with me, but on different terms. Am I listening to that person? Am I making an environment where that person feels comfortable letting me know what SHE wants and what her terms are? Am I making that person feel safe enough to be herself? Am I giving in to my anger or my feelings without thinking about what might happen? Every one of us has to understand that not everything we feel strongly is the right thing to do right now.
Now my friends: 17% of abusers are just kids, teenagers, young adults, whatever. And their friends? Sometimes they know. They hear the slaps, the yelling, the stories the next day. Maybe they see the bruises. Am I strong enough to walk up to my friend and say “I know what you’re doing and it stops right now”. Am I a good enough friend to tell him “I’m just keeping you from doing something you’ll regret later…”? Am I enough of a man to go to the police if it doesn’t stop?
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